Damn that shadow. According to Punxsutawney Phil's very own official website, we are due to 6 more weeks of cccold. As if to prove Phil right, G*d opened the heavens and dumped one whole inch of snow in my backyard.*But I shall have my revenge...stew-style. Yes, ladies and laddies, step right up! Be the very first** to try our array of groundhog patties, lard-pie, fried groundhog de-lite, and my personal favorite, fricasseed. (It just sounds so French.)
If, however, Your bleeding heart decries the notion of finger-lickin'-good rodent, You can click here to download wallpapers, sound clips, and factoids (which, I warn You, may or may not be true, as we have pretty clear evidence that the creatures have some sort of "in" with G*d, who is a notorious System-Rigger.)
*Scoff if You want, Midwesterners. But snow? In the Willamette Valley? This close to the ocean? That's just crazy talk!
**By "the very first," I imply, "the very first people with college educations." Obviously these recipes have been enjoyed as delicacies by Red-Necks for generations.
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