Dump Humpin'

Ok, the post title is cheesy, but definitely dirty, and I needed a title as dirty as la Dump. Why, a reasonable Blatherscopian might wonder, would Zerd be dumpster-diving? Surely her life is not THAT tragic?! Rest assured, beloved Readers: Zerd continues to walk that fine line between Class and Trash that so endeared her Readers to her in the first place. Non, mes amis: I merely needed to dispose of 2.5 cubic yards of nasty black rock. And NO ONE wanted it--I couldn't give it away, I couldn't recycle it--I had to PAY to return the uggo stuff to the beautifying hand of Nature. Whilst a-dumping, a Goodwill semi pulled into the spot next to me and spewed a staggering amount of crap: old sofas, clothes, random wood knicknacks, kitchen sinks. It was as moving a sight as a mother bird pushing her younglings out of the nest for the very first time. I started to get choked up, but then I realized I was just plain choking. G*d, the stench was acute!*

*Why is the stench/pain/misery/etc. never "isosceles"? A snack for thought.