Don't Be A (Double) Dip

Vindication! I have strenuously objected to those communal grazers who, in their haste for more great taste, pollute the pot for the Rest Of Us. I have been scoffed, mocked, snubbed, and given The Eye for voicing my disgust--I'm sorry if I'm crampin' your style, yo, but you are diz-gusting! And now I have proof.

"On average, the students found that three to six double dips transferred about 10,000 bacteria from the eater’s mouth to the remaining dip.

"Each cracker picked up between one and two grams of dip. That means that sporadic double dipping in a cup of dip would transfer at least 50 to 100 bacteria from one mouth to another with every bite."

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day!

Dr. King is one of my heroes; my words are a poor homage, so I will let him speak for himself (click here to actually hear him speak):
"We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of Now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children....

"And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

"I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

"I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

"I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

"I have a dream today!

"I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of "interposition" and "nullification" -- one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

"I have a dream today!

"I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together."²

"This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the South with.

"With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

"And this will be the day -- this will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning:

My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing.

Land where my fathers died, land of the Pilgrim's pride,
From every mountainside, let freedom ring!

"And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true."

For more information on Dr. King, click here.

How Can I Keep From Singing?

I take music for granted; I can sing any time, any place that I want. These Afghan women must secret away their love of song, hide from police when practicing, and perform anonymously (if given a chance to sing at all). Their choice is silence and life, or music and death. They are wiling to risk all for their art. Click here for information on the Afghan Music Project.

Every time I sing from now on, I will be lending my voice to the thousands of women who have none of their own.

The Fantastical Voyage of U.S.A. Enterprise

Good news! Women now run/own a third of all small business in the U.S.

Bad news: Congress had to pass a law in order to make sure that even a measly 5% of available government contracts would go to women entrepreneurs.

Good news! Government contracts spread $40 billion across 140 industries every year.

Bad news: Female-run businesses have a limited earning potential of $3 million per contract, up to $2 billion total.

More bad news: Out of 140 possible industries, only 4 may be influenced in selection by gender--National Security & International Affairs, Coating & Engraving, Furniture & Cabinet Making, and Motor Vehicles.

Even more bad news: The majority of revenue generated by small business contracts is concentrated in 4 other industries--Manufacturing, Real Estate, Health Care, and Waste Management.

The silver lining: Women are not shut out from competing for contracts in the other 136 industries, they just aren't giving a "helping hand."

What inspired this post: This article in the NY Times.

Other sources: S.B.A., this, and this.

But I Already Threw The First Stone...

Dearest Blatherscopians, You know how enthralled I, Zerd, am by Language and Words, by the fineness of Meaning teased out from careful reading, and by the heady Power that comes from wielding such precision. I am a stickler for Exactness--a word nerdiness, if You will permit me such levity.

Imagine my chagrin to discover that while I have been saying "plentitude", the word is "plenitude."* I hang my head in shame.

*As in: The overflowing plenitude of my breasts inflames the desires of all who gaze upon them.

Fear and Loathing in D.C., or Is This Person Actually Qualified to Run for President of the USA?

Copied verbatim from Salon.com's poly blog,War Room:

Huckabee: Amend Constitution for God

A month after Mitt Romney declared that "freedom requires religion," Mike Huckabee is explaining his desire for constitutional amendments outlawing abortion and same-sex marriage in starkly religious terms.
At a campaign event in Michigan Monday night, Huckabee said that he supports such amendments because "it's a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living God."
"What we need to do," he said, "is to amend the Constitution so it's in God's standards rather than trying to change God's standards so it lines up with some contemporary view of how we treat each other and how we treat the family."

Wow.

The Wonderful (White) World Of Disney

This leaves me speechless*. Be sure to read through a smattering of the "insightful" comments.

*Much thanks to Deeluxegal for alerting me and providing a link.

'Atta Girl, Hil!

As all devoted Blatherscopians know, Hillary is my gal. I firmly believe she is the best leader for our country in the wake of Herr President Bush. She has a mighty mind and clear voice; not only does she have a coherent Plan, but she understands what it takes to accomplish aforesaid Plan.* She is not girly, but don't make the mistake of confusing "girl" with "woman"--'cuz she is the Modern Woman. Anyone** who discounts her as "someone who can't run their own household" because of Bill's promiscuity doesn't know a damn thing about Human Nature, so they sure as hell can't identify what kind of Integrity it takes to not only keep a marriage going, but also heal and truly forgive. She puts the "guts" in "gutsy."

I am so proud of how well she did in New Hampshire and, yes, Iowa. I can't wait to see how she wins the rest of America over. But if I hear one more so-called journalist ask voters if their vote was influenced by the "tears in the diner" incident, [said in terrible faux-Italian accent] I'm-a gon-na scream-a! A) What kind of moron is more influenced by Emotion than by Ideas, Ideals, and Intellect? B) Does such as person have the requisite Mental Power to actively distinguish between Parties, Politicians, and Politicos? Or would they be stumped by a neon-rimmed Hole-In-The-Ground? C) How is this Journalism? Or have Folk been so overwhelmed by News that they can no longer separate the two?***

Okay, enough of the Hillary- and Billary- blather. [Dramatic pause.] For now. I have a salad that won't make itself waiting for me down in the kitchen. Later, skaters!

*Don't get me wrong: every word out of her mouth is not gold to me. But she has convinced me in the past, and may convince me in the future, and that says sumpthin', y'all, 'cuz I am gol-durn stubborn!

**Thank you, Michelle Obama.

***Click here for Tom Brokaw setting Chris Matthews straight on the differences. Suh-nap! It gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling in my innards.

Every Time A Bell Rings, A Walrus-Angel Gets Its Wings

Because I believe in God 34% more than You do, I thought the least I could do would be to share this Opus comic with You.

Heretics.

Happy New Year!

Technik'ly I'm a day late for such felicitous wishes, I know. I do apologize. I have been a bit behind lately, as I believe the neglect of my dear Blatherscopians illustrates. But the Universe is righting itself, and humble I am taking my rightful place in it.

Christmas was a blur--sleeping, blowing snot out my nose, more sleeping, drinking tea, streaming snot out my nose, yet more sleeping, singing, even more sleeping. If it sounds like I was sick, then Your powers of deduction have not failed. I did, however, manage to put in a solid 30 hours of singing, 10 hours of fancy-food making, and appear at 4 holiday gatherings. I am pretty sure that I grossed-out everyone I encountered along the way (too much snot; waaay too much snot), but I don't really remember: my head was a-swim in Fuzz.

The Blessing of Sickness at Christmas was that I had no taste buds. None. Therefore, I had no desire for food. And as I have been working out regularly since the week before Thanksgiving, I managed to lose 6 pounds over the vacation. It was a Christmas Miracle! And, as Deeluxegal pointed out, losing weight at a time when EVERYONE gains due to holiday binging is "really" like losing 10 pounds! Deeluxegal, I like the way you calculate.

As most of You know, I am no longer the lithe figure of Ladyhood I was when I was 21; over the course of 9 years I packed 80 more pounds to my poor frame. The first 15 pounds or so might have crept up on me, but in practice I have not been blind to the growing corpulent Bloat swallowing my body. Twice I tried insta-shedding the poundage (to some success), but I had not actually changed ME, and so the Globulence seeped back. I am a bit (ahem) of a Perfectionista. This has been a problem for healthy weight loss, because I could not see some loss of weight as any kind of success--it had to all come off (and fast! 3 hours a day on the treadmill, minimum) or I was just another Fatso, doomed to a life of fatty fatness on my faaaat aaaassss.

And then: Epiphany! Every little bit counts. This is true of food, exercise, and amount of weight lost. I have not been able to believe this, EVER.* I feel so free. Even if it takes me 9 more years to lose all the unhealthy weight I have been carrying around, that's OK, Slow and Steady wins the race. Thank you, Ms. Tortoise.

*Chalk another fracked-up mindset to my Fundie upbringing--failure sends you to Hell! You don't try to be good, you ARE good or you go to Hell! If you can't change your mind/heart/body, you are still letting Sin and Satan control your life and you will go to Hell! If you do not believe EXACTLY the same thing I do at the same time I do, I am more spiritually mature than you are and you might go to Hell! A Christian does not admit doubts or fears, because they shouldn't have any! Go to Hell!